All children are unique and will process the experience of their parents’ divorce differently. Some might cope well and prove to be resilient while others might require more attention and care. However, regardless of how well your children are able to adjust to this new and dramatic change, there is no doubt your divorce will impact them. Continue reading to learn more about how divorce can affect your children and what you can do for them.
One of the most common ways in which a divorce might affect children is in an emotional way, causing them to suffer from abandonment issues and a fear of losing love. Additionally, some studies have found that divorced children are more prone to substance abuse, committing crimes, depression, and even suicide. This is because children typically blame themselves for the failure of their parents’ marriage, believing that if they were different or better, their parents might still be together.
If you recognize these feelings of guilt in your children, it is crucial emphasize that your divorce was a decision between adults and they are not to blame. You might also want to look into seeking psychological counseling to further help them cope and understand the situation.
Studies have also revealed that children of divorce often fall behind in academia. The younger the child, the greater the impact can be. In fact, children exposed to divorce are said to be twice as likely to repeat a grade. It is crucial to provide your children the support they need during this difficult time and to make sure you are available to them to discuss any trouble they might be having. The loving care and comfort of a parent can go a long way in this situation and help prevent the negative impacts of divorce.
Divorce can affect more than just the present state of your children, but the future as well. According to the Scientific American, a small percentage of adults who were exposed to divorce as children experience depression and relationship issues, making them more likely to enter marriage with minimal confidence in the future of the relationship and its potential to succeed.
Children Can Learn From Divorce
Divorce does not have to be a negative thing, nor does it have to be a stain on the lives of your children. In fact, it can impart some positive lessons to them that can help them grow as individuals. Some of the positive lessons your children can learn from this experience include:
- A different view of marriage: Children who witness their parents endure a divorce know the loss and emotional turmoil of a failed marriage. With the right support, this sad event can be an opportunity to develop a better understanding of the hard work that is necessary to make a marriage work and thrive. Children of divorced parents often grow to be more conscientious adults who are better equipped to make their marriage work.
- A development of empathy: While divorcing spouses are not usually surprised when their marriage comes to an end, children are usually left in a state of shock. It can make them more sympathetic to the struggles of others around them, given their own troubles and loss.
- A development of self-sufficiency: When a family experiences a separation, it calls for a change in lifestyle and even presents some economic challenges. Older children are sometimes left on their own for a few hours after school, or are expected to help around the house with chores or looking after younger siblings. This often leads to a development of self-sufficiency and sense of responsibility.
- A development of resiliency: Divorce is tough and even when you are there for your children, offering the support and comfort they need, it does not change the fact that they will have a hard time adapting to the new changes that come with divorce. They will have to learn how to develop coping strategies that other children are not expected to learn until later in life. Having to overcome these emotional obstacles and changes will make them more resilient.
- More quality time with parents: When parents divorce, they usually have to designate specific times for when they can each spend time with the children, whereas this might have been more haphazard prior to the separation. Having these scheduled pockets of time carved out can result in a better bonding experience.
No child wants to see their parents separate, but it is sometimes necessary and it is important to be there and make the best of this situation. You and your spouse might no longer be together, but you are still parents. Help your children understand that while the circumstances have changed, your love never will.
Jackson MS Family Law Attorneys
Legal matters that involve your family can have a lasting impact on your future, your finances, and your livelihood. The situation can be even more complex when children are involved, which is why it is crucial to seek skilled and compassionate representation as soon as possible. At Shows & Smith Law Firm PLLC, we are experienced and solution-focused as well as committed to helping clients effectively resolve a wide range of matters.
We view our role as counselors and advisors. As such, we take the time to listen to your questions and concerns, so we can fully understand your situation and help you reach your goals while protecting your best interests and your family.
Contact us today at (601) 809-4144 to schedule a free consultation.